It is the summer holidays. And it is raining. Ergo, we have been experiencing ‘soft play hell’ for the past week. Soft play, for those who are blissfully unaware, are indoor play centres. They have bouncy castles, slides, climbing thingies and ball pits. If you are lucky, the more accommodating, friendly, soft play centres allow you to bring in your own water and snacks. I LOVE those ones. The others…. more mercenary enterprises….. charge you for entry; and then specify NO DRINKS OR SNACKS (on pain of exclusion) and so you are left paying 3 blooming quid for a bottle of water…. never mind what they might be charging for a cheese sandwich. There is even one soft play I have frequented that charge not only for the child, but entry for the parents. An ill-judged visit by the Gusto family cost £15 before we even entered the bloody door…. Baby-Gusto had a ball while Husband-Gusto and I sat nursing a cup of instant joe.
In short, I have had my fill of soft play. Today we were meeting good friends at a soft play, and after paying the entry fee, when B-G just laid himself down on the floor and wailed that he WANTED TO GO HOME I very seriously lost my sense of humour. I picked him up and pushed him towards the slides hissing ‘GO. HAVE. FUN.’
Half an hour later Baby-Gusto had wailed 7 times. I had hissed 46 times. I had apologised to everyone around us 90 times. I had cleaned up thrown ice cream and tipped-over coffee. Just when I judged that we had all suffered enough and all our friends had gone home, B-G found his equiibrium (and the bouncy castle) and was going wild giggling like crazy. I amused myself by working through my phone message inbox and deleting old messages while periodically suggesting it was time to leave.
Eventually B-G was bodily removed from the bouncy castle and carried to the car. Home for lunch was on the cards. Frozen pizza had persuaded him, and as for me, I needed something more substantial…… what is a bit of a guilty pleasure in fact. Scrambled eggs with tofu.
Ingredients ( for one person).
2 eggs (beaten)
2 spring onions, chopped fine – including green bits
1 tablespoon dried or fresh chilli flakes
150 gm silken tofu diced
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 tablespoon canola oil (rapeseed)
1 tablespoon dark soy sauce.
1 cup cooked white rice
Put the two oils into a pan and heat gently. Add the silken tofu and chilli flakes. Heat over a gentle heat, then add eggs and spring onions. Cook, while stirring gently. Top boiled rice with the cooked eggs, add the soy sauce and eat greedily in front of Food Network TV.
Two hours later, when Husband-Gusto comes home, leave child with him and go to the pub.